Not a Happy Camper


It’s mid-September in Scotland and that means Autumn has arrived. With this comes the fleecy pj’s, sheepskin slippers and the high heating bills. Feeling warm and snuggly in front of my wood burning stove or having long hot baths for hours makes these darker Autumn nights more bearable.  That said, could you take a wild guess as to where we’re going tomorrow for the whole weekend?


Am I excited?

Not. One. Bit.

My husband is looking forward to the male bonding and beer drinking with the men in the group. My son is ecstatic at the thought of spending the weekend with friends and being up ‘til midnight – and no doubt waking up with the lark.  Me, I’m just smiling and pretending it’ll all be ‘great’.

My main grievance above all others is building the tent. The instructions are worse than Ikeas. I can’t even do adult jigsaws but I’m somehow expected to build a home.  After all that trouble, a couple of days later you have to take the thing back down again.


Here’s a pleasant little poem to sum up my feelings:

I don’t want to go camping

it’s just so daunting.

The gear’s in the attic,

and this packing’s traumatic.


This humungous tent –

oh the money we spent!

We’ve so much to take,

and I could do with a break.

But we’re not done by far,

We’ve to pack up this car!


I’ve got a sad face,

and we’re struggling for space.

But we’ve to hurry up,

or the campsite will shut!


Oh joy, we’re here!

With all this bloody gear.

And I’m less than thrilled –

we’ve this tent to build.


It’s up a year later –

and I’m a camping hater.

This will never be pleasing,

when I’m sat here freezing!


I’m stuck here in hell,

and just want a hotel.



There are obviously good points to camping. We put ourselves through this because there’s nothing better than the great outdoors (except maybe 5 star hotels with Spas). BBQ’s, eating and drinking with friends, late evening chats and the laughter of free-range children out exploring – those are some of the reasons why we camp. It’s just that it’s more fun in the summertime. In a caravan.


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